On August 19, 2001 I found out I was pregnant with our first. It was a very bittersweet moment. I was very excited about becoming a mother, but realized I would have to do it without mine. She wouldn't be there in my delivery room, or any other time I might need her. While my mom was in the coma she was pretty much non-responsive. I still felt a strong desire to tell her the news. I found a minute where I could be alone with her and whispered the sweet words in her ear. Her entire body tensed and she made visible movement. Whether or not it was in correlation to what I said, I like to think it was. It lifted my spirits. Our hearts talked to each other. I knew she would be watching me, helping me and my daughter, and all the rest of my children for that matter. I believe the timing of Kirsi's pregnancy and birth was no coincidence. It gave my family something to look forward to. I always felt like Heavenly Father gave us a spirit to help ease the sadness of taking one away. And she did that. I still imagine how my mom's reaction would have been when I told her she was going to be a grandma.
1 comments:
Emily, I love these posts. I find them pretty inspiring. I remember on August 18, 2008 I went through and you and Mark were there to support Matt and me. I barely knew you but I remember being in the temple and watching you dealing with the emotional end of what this time of year means to you.
I so appreciate your willingness to share such private memories and thoughts. I feel like each post I read helps me know you a little better. This is part of what makes Emily tick.
I think it's beautiful.
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