Motherhood

With it being Mother's Day this weekend, my thoughts have have turned to two things: My experience AS a mother, and my life WITHOUT my mother.

As young women we often hear our mother's say "you'll understand when you have children of your own." At least I did. One Mother's Day, with the help of a friend, I was able to record myself playing some of my mom's favorite piano songs. I think it was by far the best gift I ever gave her. She listened to it a lot. I didn't really get it then. I thought I did, but now realize, I didn't. The other night I held a recital for my students. 3 of my children were included. As I sat there listening to my very own children playing the piano, I caught of glimpse of heaven. Music speaks to me, and to have my children producing the music was amazing! I am so proud of them. They are so talented and capable. God has given them so many beautiful talents, and I can't wait to see them develop throughout the years.

My children are beautiful creatures. But the best part is, they are mine. Forever. My mom also used to tell how beautiful she thought I was. "NAh, not me, maybe some of the other girls, but not me." That was always what went through my mind. Now, as a mother, I realize the beauty seen through a mother's eyes. My children are beautiful creatures.

I am honored to be a mother. I know I take it for granted. There is nothing like it; nothing as demanding, yet so fulfilling.

You would think after 10 years I would be used to the idea of being a mother without a mother. I still think of her every day! I still wish I could call her on the phone, ask for her advice, show her something I did, share my funny stories. I still wish I could smell her perfume or touch her soft face, or hear her laugh. I miss her!

Mother's Day is different for me, it is a reminder to live life with no regrets. To be the kind of mother I was blessed to have. One that teaches the gospel through quiet example, yet bearing a bold testimony often. My mother recognized the beauties of this world; whether it be by planting flowers or collecting fall leaves from the mountains. She appreciated music, and I think helped instill that love in me. I used to love listening to her play the piano or sing. My mother always knew when something was wrong. I couldn't hide anything from her. I loved her for that. I pray I too can provide the comfort and strength my children will need in times of trial.

I could go on and on about my mother, and about being a mother myself. These are but a few very jumbled thoughts that I had to write down so they would leave my brain. I am grateful for a day when I can reflect on just how amazing motherhood is. Thanks to all the women in my life who have supported me and loved me. Happy Mother's Day!

My cuties!